First day of the last week of term. After that, there are 2.5 weeks left of school for the rest of my life.
First day of the week and already the quote of the week emerged.
"Did that freak you out?"
- "Luke, you know me. It would take a four-legged ostrich on coke to freak me out".
The person in question has a more random life than me or anyone else I know. So random, in fact, that she also writes a blog. This blog was my inspiration to create this one. Check it out here: www.eventsoftheweekbyeden.blogspot.com
TUESDAY
Once again, I was astounded at the talent of my friends. Sondheim, one of my oldest and best friends, has written a show based on the story of 'The Little Match Girl'. I had heard some of the songs before, but was not prepared for the brilliance I would witness on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday when the cast got together for the first time for a workshop. I had been asked to be in the ensemble and even being just a small part of this amazing thing is an honour.
On Tuesday, renowned vocal coach and musical director Michael Lavine from Broadway, NYC literally came to Sondeim's HOUSE to help out and listen to his work. The significance of this is not something I can put into words. He usually costs $140/hour and he came to listen to The Little Match Girl for free. He loved it so much he stayed for several hours.
Meanwhile, one of the cast members, BatBoy, seems to have gone tone-deaf in the past few months. The renowned vocal coach from the US literally spent 30 minutes trying to get him to sing one line with the correct notes. He couldn't. It literally got to the stage where this guy was playing a note on the piano and said "Sing this" and he physically could not do it. No one knows why I literally cried with laughter and had to leave the room.
Ate PECAN PIE for the first time in my life and literally orgasmed over how amazing it was!
WEDNESDAY
Rehearsed some more for LMG and then performed it for a small audience of Sondheim's family and friends. The level of musical and creative talent that has gone into the show is astounding. I honestly believe that this could really go places and I am so excited by the whole thing.
Was also astounded at the talent of Hilary Swank. Chills the whole way through - AMAZING. No one could have done it better.
Went for coffee with an amazing friend who I hadn't spoken properly to in WAY too long!
Facebook Status of the week:
"Rachel has learnt to always check the label - BBQ sauce tastes nothing like chocolate topping on icecream, DAMNIT!"
THURSDAY
Walked around Savers in the lovely Greensborough for over an hour. I spent the entire time looking in the women's section. I do not intend to wear women's clothes but I needed all this shit for my Media project, which is coming along very slowly. Was devastated when the total cost of the clothes added up to $55.
I am determined to move out next year. Whenever I tell anyone this they always give me a look and say something like "Good luck" or "Are you sure?". Despite their reservations, I really think I will be able to make it work. I will literally live in a basement with furniture from Savers if i need to. They actually had some really cool stuff in there.
No, random woman - I would not like to be in your musical.
FRIDAY
Laughed a lot when a friend asked for the link to this blog.
"How do I find the link? I'm not familiar with pornless blogs."
Went to be in RSVP.com's media film. Despite my years of serious training, exhibited some of the worst acting OF ALL TIME.
Felt a little bit personally responsible but mostly shocked and amused when an innocent little friend went clubbing for the first time with the fake ID that I had organised for them... and ended up going home with and losing their virginity to a 33 YEAR OLD. Was absolutely speechless. My friends and I are all going downhill fast...
Was inspired and amazed once again by the lyrics of Paul Kelly. I don't particularly like the music, but to read them simply as poems, they are fucking awesome.
This one is honestly chilling but is my favourite at the same time:
THESE LIES (written with Deborah Byrne)
Grandpa was a loving man
He sat me on his knee
I remember how he'd brush his hair so tenderly
A fortunate and loving man
He whispered in my ear
This secret's just between us when no one else is near
These lies brighter than sunlight
Fairytales told in a dream
These old lies in a bedtime story
These lies have covered me
Summer's sweet and budding fruit
Lies withered on the vine
And winter's icy fingers have stolen what was mine
The stars are shining high above the snow upon the ground
Hold me close and let me know that new love comes around
These lies brighter than sunlight
Fairytales told in a dream
These old lies in a bedtime story
These lies have covered me
SATURDAY
Today was the day of the AFL Grand Final. Big day.
As the rest of Australia was watching the final minutes of the Grand Final, I was literally standing at a bus stop in the rain. WHY does my life seem to revolve around public transport?
Actually felt genuine sadness when the bus driver informed me that St. Kilda had lost the Grand Final. My dad and my brothers had gone to the game and would probably be in tears.
Caught the train in with Sondheim to a party all the way in fucking Hampton. Met up with Gaysian. Little did I know that the McDonalds that he was eating with me would be all over my body in a matter of hours.
Laughed so much at the clear juxtaposition of stereotypes: homeless man on a laptop with headgear.
Felt genuinely offended when a random man opened up a porn magazine ON THE TRAIN. Is this really necessary? Everyone was looking at him looking at soft/debatably not-so-soft porn. Another man near us declared to the whole carriage that he was "TANGING FOR A BEER!" to which the porno-guy literally got one out of his bag and gave it to him. It was lovely and generous of him but porn in public is still not okay.
The generous porno-man then left the magazine on the train, offering it to any other citizens who fancied a look. I said no thanks. It wasn't the good kind, anyway.
The second part of the night is almost inexplicable. Almost.
Arrived at the party, very happy to see some awesome friends. Walked into the kitchen and was confronted by two of my friends snorting MGMA on the kitchen bench, using their student metcards to line it up. There were less than ten people at the party. Once again, is this necessary
Was very happy to see Rio and my Chinese Washer Woman!
Went to pee in the bathroom
Felt that the party had hardly even started when we had the first vomiter. This is to be expected at a YABC party. This one, however, was shockingly early. The Gaysian's vomiting started at 11:00pm.
No one could figure out a way to get rid of the chunks of vomit still on the carpet after the initial sweeping away and I literally had to pick them up with my hands. Thankfully, I was drunk enough so that the full extent of how gross this is did not impact me at the time.
However, it did not stop at vomiting.
It probably wasn't really necessary, but at the time he needed to be upright so that his vomit did not go back down his throat. I literally jumped into the bed behind his back, straddled his torso and held him up as he munted.
I never thought that I would actually be able to say this, but I was actually shat on by another human being. Awesome.
It got to the point where we had to call an ambulance. I did the honours and it may sound fucked but I have always had a real fascination over what actually happens when you call 000. I am now pleased to say that I know what happens.
When they finally arrived, the cunt of a paramedic saw me holding him up in the bed and somehow associated all of the teenage irresponsibility that exists in the world with my little face. When he tried to blame me, I pointed out that i hardly even knew him but that I was lying in poo holding him up while we waited for him to arrive.
Decided that, despite how much of an asshole this one guy was, being a paramedic is actually a really important and admirable job. Go paramedics!
Was shocked after the ambulance left and I realised that it wasn't even midnight. What a joke!
I had some really violating/humiliating/revolting photos of the mess... Will obviously not upload them. I felt quite sorry for the Gaysian because we have all drunk way too much and done some really gross things when drunk before, he just came off worse than most other people do. I hope that perhaps in six months time he will look back and acknowledge the hilarity of the situation.
After helping to clean up the considerable mess, had a shower. Still felt dirty. Had a second one. Felt a bit better.
Walking out of my SECOND shower, was told "Woah, man - you fucking stink! You need to have a shower!" I HAD JUST HAD TWO. This hurt my feelings. Obviously, I had a third.
Still had a pretty fun night, despite all the shit that went down.
PS: I have recently been overwhelmed by the amount of people who have blogs. I thought I was a weirdo. Apparently, there are a lot of weirdos out there. For another blog of a friend who hosted this messy party, go to: www.pouncetiger.blogspot.com
SUNDAY
Woke up and spent about two hours making jokes and puns relating to poo. See above.
Eventually left in not one piece of clothing that i owned, except for my socks. Everything had been put in the washing machine and was totally wet. I had to borrow someone else's underwear, for god's sake.
Walked home with my Chinese Washer Woman and Sondheim and screamed with laughter the whole way home. Hilarious!! An hour later was EXTREMELY glad that I had decided against drinking the rest of my vodka on the train home.
Went to Grill'd. For some reason whenever I have been drunk the night before I have extreme cravings for red meat. This is most likely due to iron/protein deficiencies but it only happens when I'm hungover.
I came to the realisation that drinking more alcohol in the morning would have been a terrible idea when getting up from the table at Grill'd I fell over, almost onto the people next to us. Was evidently still drunk.
Finally got home and collapsed into bed. Woke up again that night and tried studying for the English practice exam which was the next day. Remind me again please: what is Kite Runner?
Needed to do a shit, but could hardly bring myself to do so after Saturday night's experience.
Overall it was not a bad week.
But hopefully next week won't be so shitty!
:D
