Sent my friend the following message, in response to the terrible musical theatre show I had seen on the previous Thursday:
"Omg, meanwhile I meant to SMS you before Friday night to warn you: DO NOT go and see the show!! It was the wost thing I'd seen in AGES, and I've seen some pretty bad shit. It was so LONG! I died. Did you see it?"
To which i received the following response:
"I loved it and thought it was one of the best shows I've seen in a long time. My friend was the lead and was fucking amazing. Awkward."
Yep, pretty awkward!!
Tuesday
Woke up from a dream in which I was at school and being chased by a young girl's vicious dog. The dog attacked me several times and bit of my left ear. I then proceeded to walk around for the rest of the day with my ear in my pocket, showing it to everyone I encountered.
Wednesday
Was at work, sitting at the desk. The parents of the children we teach usually come up to to ask questions. I was at the desk doing absolutely nothing and no one else was around. Then one of the parents, who I already despised, wandered in. I ignored her, because if you make eye contact with this woman she will talk with you for hours no matter how disinterested you are. I was sitting there with my iPhone on the desk, with a message I had just receieved open on the screen. As I ignored her, she wandered towards the desk without saying anything. She then came around to the my side of the desk and literally pulled up a chair, sitting down as if she was in charge. Without saying anything, this idiot woman leaned over and started reading the text message on my phone. Speechless, I couldn't even move my hands to take it away and I watched her as she scrolled through my personal text messages.
Who the FUCK does that? I have no idea.
I shuddered with repulsion and eventually took my phone away from her as she had a one-sided conversation with me about her new Twitter account. I hate this woman and no doubt she will return next week, probably to ask me what colours my pubes are or something else about my private life, because apparently things like that are her business.
Later that night after the fuckhead woman left, I was sitting on a chair doing nothing. Then, i slightly shifted my weight to make myself more comfortable. Somehow, I managed to severely damage my ass and since then I haven't been able to sit down or walk properly without my coxic bone aching.
Thursday
My headphones are broken :-(
At least I won't get caught belting on my walks home by passers-by.
On Thursday I was walking home from the bus stop, obviously without my headphones. When I arrived home I realised that I had spent the entire 3km walk talking to myself, out-loud.
Late at night, I thought I could get away with walking down the hallway in only my underwear, seeing as no one else was around. Turned out, my brother thought the exact same thing at the exact same times and we both ended up walking towards each other in our underpants. Awkard.
Friday
Had a really, really good day.
Quote of the day (about rangas): "It's really strange... They're just like blue lollies - so unnatural." -T.M
Late at night I felt really emotionally sensitive for some reason, as if I was ready for something to make me cry. Except there was nothing for me to be upset about... life's tough!
Saturday
Had a nice sleep in and then went and got a haircut. When I called them up to book an appointment, i felt really awkward about requesting a certain hairdresser. The only time I'd ever been really happy with a haircut was with this girl but I've been to scared to ask for her again. Do people always request a particular person? I have no idea. Apparently this is normal behaviour but I just felt really awkward about it.
Had a nice sleep in and then went and got a haircut. When I called them up to book an appointment, i felt really awkward about requesting a certain hairdresser. The only time I'd ever been really happy with a haircut was with this girl but I've been to scared to ask for her again. Do people always request a particular person? I have no idea. Apparently this is normal behaviour but I just felt really awkward about it.
This day was also the first officially nice day of spring. It was so warm and sunny that no matter what happened, everyone was in a good mood. I literally sunbaked on the bed of a creek half the day. Uncharacteristically, I was not stumbled upon by a stranger in an awkward situation, as I would have expected.
Went to see 'Once We Lived Here', a new musical written and performed by some people I know. I'd heard so much about it and was really excited to see it. We had to go early to get tickets at the door but sitting at the bottom of the stairs was a woman who, from behind, looked EXACTLY like my mother. She had the same hair, clothes, handbag and even the same watch as my mother. I freaked out because I had clearly told my mother I was at a completely different place that night with completely different people, doing completely different things. Luckily, this woman was not my mother and I was able to see the show in peace!
The show was incredible. I absolutely loved the whole thing - I can't remember the last time I have seen something that good!! The cast was brilliant and the fact that I knew some of them and the composer made it all the more enjoyable. I think I want to see it again. The audience was literally laughing and crying within seconds of each other. At several stages I had tears in my eyes that were interrupted by fits of laughter, soon to be replaced by fresh tears. Amazing!!!!
After the show I had planned to go out with some of my friends. A few other friends were also there and so they came along too. The bar we went to was cool but we definitely stayed there for way too long. Afterwards we were trying to get a taxi to go to a club but there were none to be found. On the way, a friend told me that I had a rash on my face. Telling me that I was going into anaphylactic shock and that I would need an epipen, we went into a 7/11 to find a mirror. Upon inspection in the little mirror at the sunglasses stand, it was evident that the 'rash' on my face was simply my bad skin. Awesome.
Eventually it was getting late and some of the others went home, afterwhich we eventually found a taxi and went to this club. There was an enormously obese bouncer out the front who I didn't recognise, but every other time I'd been there they had let me in with my fake ID. This time, the bouncer told me that he didn't believe that I was 18 and said "Just give me a minute and I'm sure I'll be able to peel off this plastic layer and reveal the original licence", to which i shat my pants. He peeled it off and then refused to give it back. He was enjoying it so much. He asked me what I was doing with my life and started to give me a lecture. He wanted to know what I wanted to achieve in life when I'm underage and getting into clubs and I was really, really tempted to say: "I want to become a bouncer. That way I get to go on a power trip every night and it doesn't matter how fat I get because it looks like I'm better at my job".
If i had said that I'm pretty sure I would be dead. So I settled for simply screaming out "FUCK YOU!" from the window of the taxi as we drove away.
Thankfully I was able to stay at a friend's house and was so glad that I did because she had the most comfortable bed I have EVER slept in. Amazing.
Sunday
Upon waking up at 9:00am, the first thing I did was pour myself another large drink of vodka and orange juice. This was possibly the best idea I have ever had. I was drunker at 10:45am than I was the night before. I met up with T.M at Flinders St for approximately 6mins until his train came. He spent these 6mins laughing at me. I didn't mind.
Got home, slept for a few hours. Previously, I had planned to spend my Sunday doing my Media Folio, which is due this Friday. I didn't.
That night I went with my parents and brother to see 'UP'. This was seriously one of the BEST movies I have seen in ages! I have never laughed that much or that loud in a cinema in my entire life. Anyone reading this (what, like all 3 of you?) should definitely go see this. It was awesome.
Monday
Went to school for the first time with my new haircut. Big day.
Was asked by my friend, "Did you get your hair cut at the place you usually go?", to which i said "Yes". He then said to me, "Oh, that's weird. They usually do it good there". Awesome.
Had an argument with my mum after she found out that I had lost my wallet, again. She complains that I've lost it every year for the past 6 years. Little does she know that I've actually lost my wallet three times THIS year, this is just the first time she has found out about it.
In the ensuing argument she complained about the fact that I lost things. I explained to her that the fact I don't have my wallet or that I got a fine for not having a metcard does not actually affect her in any way and that she should just shut up about it. All I wanted was for her to find the receipt for my yearly metcard so that I could get it renewed and wouldn't have to pay the fine. She said that she didn't want to do it tonight and would do it another day when she finds the time. In her busy schedule, of course.
Her relentless bitching continued. She told me that i can go "shove it up my ass". What 'that' is, I don't know. I then said to her that she is very immature, to which she said "I'm just as mature as you!" I then pointed out to her that if that was the case, then she should be embarrassed because she is a 47yo woman, whereas I am 17.
She then said that she had to stoop to my level when talking to me. I asked her what that meant but she couldn't articulate a response. She did, however, say that if she did find the receipt, she shouldn't even give it to me and should instead rip it up and eat it. I told her that this would be completely idiotic, but that for that reason alone I wouldn't put it past her. She then said that if she finds the receipt she will "eat it, then do a big shit on your bed and you can sift through my crap."
